A Harrowing on the Ice
On weeping over a Judge Judy episode, and why that is not an overreaction.
The Duck Call
On humble objects, deep time, and the breath of the people we have loved.
The Concrete Cantata: An Orchestra Without a Score
On highway noise, the loss of silence, and a splinter in the spirit.
The Cornfield and the Meeting Room
On power, performance, and the paint that was always going to be green.
The Nose Knows Nothing Anymore: The Politics of Disgust
On the slow erasure of a sense, the pills we take for it, and what the whole arrangement might be doing to our politics.
The Box That Waits: A Modern Twist on an Ancient Fairy Tale
A story of desire and the patience of forgotten things.
Mansplaining Explained
A kinder approach to suffering the indignity.
The Return of the Ducks
On homecoming — theirs and mine — and the land that holds us all without distinction.
The Snapper That Would Not Die
On the negotiable boundary between life and what comes after it.
The Woman Who Could Taste Everything: A Modern Fairy Tale
All the best stories begin with an ordinary moment that turns out not to be ordinary at all. This one begins with an orange.
The Slow Erosion of a Tuesday
A comedy of institutional indifference and what survives it.
A Fairy Tale: The Listening Tree
A story of when the distance between a told thing and an untold thing was believed to matter enormously.
Science Fiction Horror in a Suburban Garage
On parasitism, possession, and the collector who became the collected
The Fullness of Stone: A Fairy Tale of What is Needed
A story older than its telling...
A Portrait of Uncommon Beauty
Beauty need not announce itself to be profound
Not My Tribe
Where Fear Curdles Into Anger
My Garbage Scorecard: How Much is Too Much?
Pondering Garbage Day in Ontario
In the Pursuit of Privet
Russians saying hello in my backyard, the curious link between cilantro haters and privet, and the intrepid Elizabeth Blackwell.
“Family Feud”: Not Family Fare
Misogyny Wrapped in a Punchline
The Shady History of Our Family Tree: Our Norway Maple
Connecting George Washington, Jung, Micro-bursts, Fungal Tar Spots, Slavery, and Germanic Folklore
Maria do Espirito Santo Ferreira Rezendes (1895–1963)
An Azorean Life Remembered
Complaining, Capitulation, and Compliance
Gingerly Goosestepping Through Life
Tomato Tariff Taxonomy
The Supreme Court in 1893: Science vs. Common Parlance
The Face of a Middle Power
Abused and gaslighted.
Thirty Pieces of Silver and the Stock Market
Is the Economy an Act of Faith or like the Spread of Mildew in a Basement?
A Folktale of the Dolomites and the Origin of Edelweiss
This story explains the origins of the edelweiss flower and why the Dolomite peaks are so hauntingly bare.
Social network syndication
Articles on Louche Leaves are now posted automatically on Bluesky and the Fediverse (e.g., Mastodon) social networks.
Feedback Foibles
Many people don’t really know how to give feedback or, rather, they don’t quite understand the purpose of providing it.
Finding Nemo… or Nema? Gender Fluidity in Nature
Many of us delighted in the Disney film “Finding Nemo” Several of the traits ascribed to various fish shown in the movie are relatively accurate, but some of the more fascinating characteristics of clownfish received no mention. Clownfish have matriarchal societies and change their gender from time to time. With
Memory of a Gordian Knot
When I was sixteen years old, I had an emergency appendectomy. But that’s not what I want to write about. This is about my father. After the surgery, decades ago, I ended up on my back for several days and wasn’t allowed to sit up. At the time
Art, Literature, and Rooming Houses
In 1976 and 1977, I attended University in Perugia, Italy. I received my degree (in an accelerated programme) after subjecting myself to two years there, studying what was termed Humanities and Interpreting. The Interpreting part of the curriculum is straightforward; the Humanities, perhaps less so. My studies on that side
Emalyn Smith Burney: An Endling
can’t go on. I’ll go on. — Paul Kalanithi, When Breath Becomes Air Emalyn first came to my attention in a sensational newspaper article from the Berlin News Records, April 26, 1913 (now Kitchener-Waterloo, Ontario, Canada): He Died Again but Shock Killed his Grandmother Butte, California, April 26, 1913
AI Gets it Wrong Again: First Responders and Cliff Clavin
Not long ago, I wrote an essay on how misleading and incorrect AI can be when it provides a pre-digested answer to queries made through Google: When AI is Wrong: An Absorbing History of Paper TowelsThere are a few things I would like to cover in this essay: * How alarmingly
When AI is Wrong: An Absorbing History of Paper Towels
There are a few things I would like to cover in this essay: * How alarmingly wrong AI can be * The actual history of the paper towel * Perhaps an unsung and hitherto unknown heroine in the story * Paper towels in the United States vs the rest of the world * Environmental impact
Nobel or Ignoble Peace Prize: Pandering to Politicians
No Country for Grumpy Old Men For some time now, Donald Trump has been jockeying, whining, cajoling, sniveling, hinting, demanding, droning, and grousing — all towards his deserving to be awarded this (in my view) rather questionable honour. Like a grotesque puppy jostling for position at the fullest teat, he shoved
Everything Happens for a Reason? I Don't Think So.
There are a few common platitudes that irk me, and “everything happens for a reason” would be in my top five (tied with “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” — watch for an upcoming essay on that hackneyed phrase). Many Things Happening for Many Reasons? First of all, I
Doll and Ruby Easson: Twin Sisters and Endlings
A Tap on the Shoulder Damnatio Memoriae According to some authorities of history and population studies, about 117 billion people have been born on this earth. How many are forgotten? I would guess almost every single one; yet in my imagination, a few still stand and some still walk. In
Tanna, Queen of the Crodères: A Neolithic Folktale
Several years ago my son and I went hiking through the Lavaredo Pass, high in the Dolomites. It was warm down in the valley, but as we went higher, the temperature dropped considerably despite the sunny weather. As we climbed, we came upon the remnants of trenches, fortifications and tunnels
Yahweh is a Petty Liar, Man is a Snitch, and Woman Claims She Was Misled
Recently — no, not just recently, but perpetually — the news is full of blame, deflection, and lack of accountability. I began thinking of an early story of this phenomena, and the Book of Genesis from the Old Testament came to mind. Let’s go through the story, shall we? The Fall
Consensual Hair Cutting and Money Sharing: Two Modern Fairy Tales
Recently the trial of the World Junior Hockey League men was concluded. It got me to thinking… Consensual Hair Cutting In a far or not so far way land, a woman’s hair was not just her “crowning glory”… it was a measure of her worth. In this land, hair
Sanguanél, Salvanèl, Mazariol, and Mazaròl
Continuing recent essays about quirky northern Italian stories, here are some intertwined creatures that roam through their folklore. These particular stories, not very well known in English sources, touch upon memory loss, losing one’s way, and environmental concerns. Sanguanél and Salvanèl The first little creature has two slightly different
Camalò: Centre of the World or Portal to the Underworld
Lately, I find myself recalling places and stories from Italy. Here is a recollection from the Province of Treviso, in the Veneto region of northeastern Italy. The village is called Camalò. It’s not particularly remarkable to look at or to pass through. Back in the 1970s, when driving to
Fireflies, Mermaids and Skeins of Thread
Folktales from the Euganean Hills Years ago I lived near the area of the Colli Euganei (the Euganean Hills). They only rise to between 300-600 metres in height, but with everything else around them being completely flat, they do stand out. The area is named after an ancient pre-Roman
We Were So Pretty
"There is no beauty without some strangeness of proportion." — Edgar Allan Poe A Visitor From the Past Several years ago a woman came into my bookshop. I recognized her immediately. Let’s call her Daisy (obviously not her real name). Everyone knows a Daisy. You, Dear Reader, know
Flight of Fancy: A Tiny Tragedy in an Underground Parking Lot
"Folk tales from around the world tell us that the animals communicate with each other in a language unknown to men and women — or else in a language that used to be known to us but is now lost. The stories also tell of human beings who understand the
John Collier: Florida Pioneer, Cracker and Polygamist
John Collier Sr. was certainly a fascinating man. A true Florida pioneer, he was the personification of a “cracker” — but in the positive historical sense (more on the “cracker” origin story follows). As we shall see, his personal relationships are legion and deeply tangled. Let’s call him “John” from
Being A Human Book
Really, it’s true — literally (pardon the pun). I recently participated as a Human Book in an event of the Human Library Organization. What is the Human Library Organization? The Human Library Organization was founded in Denmark 25 years ago and operates in 85 countries. Their tagline is “unjudge someone”
The Pathos of Pots and Pans
How I Came to Sell Her Cookware As some of you may know, I am a bookseller dealing in antique and second hand books. As such, I am often contacted by set dressers wanting a certain type of book or ‘look’ for their sets. While conversing recently with a set
Haruki Murakami and Trichophilia: A Review of 1Q84 and an Odd Obsession
Haruki Murakami was born on January 12, 1949 in Kyoto, Japan and has authored many works of both fiction and non-fiction. He has been honoured, praised, and is the recipient of many literary awards. All good, and likely well deserved, but, Dear Reader, I want to bring your attention to
Good Night and Good Luck: Shirley, We Missed You
I watched the original 2005 film at least five times and a few days ago watched the CNN broadcast of the newly produced Broadway production. Both were outstanding. The production brings to life an episode in American news broadcasting where a journalist and his reporting team take on a US
Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics: A Primer for Tyranny
With all the news about A.I. it seems reasonable to recall Isaac Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics. They first appeared in a 1942 short story entitled “Runaround”, which was later included in the 1950s collection “I Robot”. Asimov (1920-1992) was both a science fiction writer and a
We Really Love Working Here — Really…
There was a comedy game show on television not so long ago called “Whose Line is it Anyway?” The tagline was: Where the show is made up and the points don’t matter. I always thought that tagline could have been an insightful summary of the North American workplace. Was
Providing Tech Sarcasm since…1975?
Perhaps I should be more understanding. Perhaps he has spent decades fielding calls from computer-challenged people like me. In the words of Louis Armstrong, his theme song could be: Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen Nobody knows my sorrow Nowadays, everyone has an IT guy (usually a guy for
The Invisible Woman — My Superpower
I have a superpower. My superpower is a cloak of invisibility. It’s the cloak bestowed upon elderly women, whether we want it or not. This cloak is hard to remove, and once relinquished, punishment is swift. Let me give you the most recent example of my invisibility. The other
What George Orwell and I Have in Common
I would like to think that Orwell and I have a few things in common, but I can confidently say that our bookshop experiences are quite similar. Orwell worked for a few years in a secondhand bookshop, and he memorialized some of that experience in two works. One was an
O Canada
Before you read any further know this: I am Canadian. My parents were both Canadians, and my mother’s ancestors came here in the late 1500s. Yes, more than 400 hundred years ago. Some intermarried with the Mohawk First Nation at Kahnawake. I have always been quietly proud of being
Cunctipotence: Has Anyone Seen Mike Hunt?
All sacred things must have their place. It could even be said that being in their place is what makes them sacred. — CLAUDE LÉVI-STRAUSS , I am happy to report that “Cunctipotent” is a legitimate and bona fide word. Here is the definition as provided by the Oxford English Dictionary. Cunctipotent
I Have a Dream
I have a dream, and it’s NOT about me. I’ve written about the interconnectedness of people and the importance of everyone’s stories (links to those essays below). Earlier today I had an encounter at a big box store and felt compelled to write it down. Normally I
Pronouns of Acceptance
Firstly, I would like to thank my dear friend Frank. I came to know this remarkable man almost a decade ago and have nothing but respect and admiration for him. It should also be stated that we come from very different backgrounds (he was raised and lived in various southern
Checking Under the Hood: A Brief Look at Little Hills, Flags, and Tickling
Yes, it looks like what you think. The first European description and reference to the plant was made in 1678 by a Polish naturalist Jakob Breyne, a brave naturalist who named it based on a resemblance to the clitoris. What’s in a Name? The Controversy Disturbed by the clear
Is "Wheel of Fortune" too "Woke" for Fox?
Oh, no. It was eventually going to happen… the dreaded “political” post. Have you ever noticed that all the contestants on “Wheel of Fortune” appear to be the same height? This is because, behind the scenes, they are standing on adjustable risers. Called “Scully Boxes” (in previous decades, simply called
You Should Smile More, or Five Decades of the Patriarchy
Let's start in the remote past. From the dark reaches of the 1970s. Having completed my University studies – in Humanities (art, literature, and other high-minded topics), I quickly realized this would lead to no employment opportunities beyond that of being a lowly tour guide (which I briefly did,
It Isn't Just About Kevin Bacon
Most of us have heard about the “Six Degrees of Separation of Kevin Bacon”. Something of a parlour game, the idea is to connect an actor with Kevin Bacon in six steps or fewer. An oft-cited example of how the game works is where we start with Elvis Presley in
The Victim: From Sacred Power to Exploited Weakling
All sacred things must have their place. It could even be said that being in their place is what makes them sacred. — Claude Lévi-Strauss Most etymologies tend to looks backwards from current usage to the possible origins of a given word. When looking into the concept of a “victim”, I
Weri What?
There is a word or meme that pops up from time to time on social media: It is “Werifesteria”. Here is a cropped image of a typical post citing this “word”: Does it matter that the word doesn’t actually exist in any dictionary and that it is not in
A Third Death in the Family
And so, yet another death in 2024. This time it was our beloved cat, Cream. Cream came to us as a rescue about 17 or 18 years ago. My son found her as a wisp of a calico kitten, abandoned and trapped in a construction site. Since that moment, Cream
Brain Fever - The Difference Between Compassion and Empathy
Several years ago I watched a wonderful film called “Awakenings” which was based on the autobiographical book of the same title by Dr. Oliver Sacks. When I originally chose to watch the movie, I had little idea of the subject-matter. The story follows Dr Sacks (played by Robin Williams) working
The Ugliness of a Beauty Pageant Cleaning Service
Recently, a commercial has been shown over and over again, and each time I see it I find it increasingly disturbing. It is disturbing because it is misleading, panders to the pretentiousness of potential clients, uses incorrect terminology, objectifies women and youth, and is breathtaking in its disdain toward workers.
The Melancholy of the Mall
It has been at least ten years, and perhaps more, since I’ve walked through a mall. Of course there have been occasions, always brief, where I had to stride through a mall on the way to some specialty retailer (like a clock repair or a jewellery appraiser). Those visits,
Biographies of "Ordinary" People
As some of you know, I write biographies and memoirs. Often they are focused on someone's ancestor; other times they are my ghostwriting of an individual’s recollections. Here is why I write this sort of thing and why I truly love memorializing stories of others. And, by
Sophia Holness: An Intrepid Woman, from a British Workhouse to Canada (1850–1922)
Here is another fascinating story of a real person whose story had been lost until now. Sophia is unrelated to me; she is the ancestor of a client. Born on June 2, 1850, in Blean, a village in Canterbury, Kent, England, Sophia Holness lived a long, eventful life. The civil
Whatever Happened to the Hunchback’s Mummified Penis?
What a nice day for a family picnic! Sometime during the late summer of 1976, a friend and I were rather aimlessly driving around the Friuli region of Italy. I wasn’t seeking anything in particular but was interested in seeing what had remained of the gorgeous medieval towns that
Social Media: Promulgating Memes and Slovenly Thinking
To paraphrase Lesley Gore: It's my soapbox and I'll preach if I want to… Know that I really don’t want to devolve into the kind of person who trolls Facebook for the sole purpose of becoming enraged. Still, there are days when I can’t
It’s Raining Fallacies: Shakespeare and Bob Marley on the Internet
Question: What do Shakespeare and Bob Marley have in common? Answer: Facebook attributes the same incorrect quote to both. I saw this posted on Facebook the other day. First, let me say that it’s a nice little poem. Simple, straightforward, good meter, excellent use of alliteration. But it does
From Another Time: The Māori Voice of Albania
It was in the late summer of 1974. I had recently come to live in northern Italy, had not yet begun my final year of high school, and could not yet speak Italian. There were no English language television or radio programmes. I was sixteen years old, unhappy about my
Losing the Mysticism
I was raised a Roman Catholic, and then I grew up. For the most part I find Paul in Corinthians to be despicable, but there is one verse — 13.11 — that I can get behind. Here is the King James Version (which I prefer because I like the flavour of
Caterina Vizzani (AKA Giovanni Bordoni): A Transgender Life in the 1700s
Transgender issues are nothing new. Ancient Egyptians had gender bending rulers, as did many other ancient cultures. But let us explore an intriguing individual from the 1700s. Born female in Rome in 1719, Caterina Vizzani lived a short life, dying in Siena at the age of 24 years in June
What Smells Like Corn Chips, Buttered Popcorn, Lemons, Almonds, Cherry Cola and Mint?
If Moses supposes his toeses are roses, Then Moses supposes erroneously; For nobody's toeses are posies or roses, As Moses supposes his toeses to be. These lyrics from a 1895 nonsense tongue-twister song were made popular in the 1952 movie Singin’ in the Rain. Enjoy the incomparable combination
St. Patrick Digging Up a Grave
Sometimes the Saints were… hmmm… jerks? St. Patrick is one of those saints that even non-Roman Catholics know to some extent. Perhaps most recall that he is the Patron Saint of Ireland, and that he drove the snakes out of that country. Some may know that he is the patron
Marozia: A Medieval Lesbian Ghost
Look what happens when you don't confess to "wanton lust"! The stories are there, but you sometimes need to seek them out. Marozia is less than a mere footnote in history, but at least she is noted. She lived and she had a story, and thanks
No Permission Required: A Sea Change into Something Rich and Strange
At first, I was going to use the idiomatic expression “sea-change”. Then I double checked its present meaning, which gave me pause. The expression goes back to William Shakespeare in ‘The Tempest’ ; specifically in the song ‘Full Fathom Five’. A supernatural spirit, Ariel, is singing to Ferdinand, the Prince of
Another Death in the Family
Just two months ago, on July 6, we lost our beloved German Shepherd, Luna. Now our equally beloved Sally is gone. She was in her 18th year, born in 2006. Supposedly a Miniature Pinscher, she was likely mixed with Manchester Terrier. Sally was a rescue and came to us unexpectedly.
Enheduanna: The First Known Author of All Time
The Triumph of Literature over Violence Enheduanna is the first author to sign her name to works of literature. She signed her name like this:𒂗𒃶𒌌𒀭𒈾 Think on it: The first and most significant literary event in all history — and it is a woman who first had the notion of appending
Exorcism of a Colleague
Craig is not his real name. I chose this pseudonym for reasons that should become apparent as this sketch progresses. I worked with Craig for a brief time, decades ago. He did not report to me, nor I to him. We were “colleagues”, peers reporting to the same higher manager.
So Pure it Floats: Ivory Soap or An Accused Witch?
Imagine that you are living sometime in the 1600s in America or England, and have been accused of witchcraft. Only a few things might save you: being very skinny, underfed, very lean or very muscular. Or being a man. There were not many ways of proving innocence to witchcraft, but
A Story about the Truth — Or Not?
Usually titled “The Truth and the Lie” (sometimes the title contains slightly different wording), it is a story that has appeared many times on the internet, from social media to blogs to LinkedIn. Most websites cite Jean-Léon Gérôme as the author, but this — ironically — is incorrect. Gérôme was a French
It's Been Weird Lately — or is it Fate?
Recently the news has latched onto a comment made in the United States’ political arena, and now the word “weird” seems to be everywhere. The word itself has an interesting pedigree. Most etymologies tend to move from the present and go backwards through time, but let’s take a different
Eat your Heart Out Castaneda: The Canadian Origin of the Word Psychedelic
Back in what we might consider a more “conservative” decade it was a Canadian who, in 1956, coined the word “psychedelic”. The orthography took some time to settle, and in its early years it was sometimes spelled “psychodelic”. No longer quite so popular a term (see n-gram chart below), the
John Moore Perkins: The History of a Missionary in Liberia
From time to time I research and write histories about the ancestors or family members of various people. I am not personally related to John Moore Perkins, but I did write his biography for an individual who is part of his extended family. Perkins’ background and story is fascinating: John
Wolf Pelt: A Fairy Tale Retold
All the best stories come from long ago, and this is one such story. This is my retelling and re-imagining of it: There once was — or there once was not — a story, in the oldest days and ages, in a land so far away it was beyond seven mountains, beyond
The Wolf that Drives You to the Cemetery: The Strange Etymology of "Hearse"
Oscan is an extinct language from southern Italy and was a close relative of Umbrian. Spoken by various tribes, it was a written language adapted from the Etruscan and scholars have identified inscriptions in Oscan dating as far back as prior to 300 BCE. There are remnants of graffiti in
A Death in the Family
"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” – Anatole France Our beloved dog Luna died early in the morning of July 6th at the age of 17. She was not our first dog. And we have another dog still living. Nonetheless, Luna was
Waldeinsamkeit: The Germans have a Word for That.
"Our hands imbibe like roots, so I place them on what is beautiful in this world" — St. Francis of Assisi When people think about German words without a one-word translation into English, they often default to “schadenfreude”, which describes the pleasure one might feel when witnessing the distress
Sins of Omission: Suppressed Work History - Part Two
Customs Broker This is a continuation of my previous story about jobs that were omitted from my resume. This particular job is sometimes included in my C.V., but usually not. Here is a link to Part One: Sins of Omission: Suppressed Work History — Part OneMy “official” résumé, is, shall
Forget: A Common Word with an Unusual Pedigree
Such a simple and commonplace word, and yet it has a moderately complex history. Intriguingly, it has almost been forgotten despite being not only a common and workaday term, but also a uniquely distinct word — a peculiarity in the English language. The word is believed to have originated from the
What the Dictionary Got Wrong: An Etymology of Skedaddle
The Oxford English Dictionary: Distinguished, revered, venerated, respected, hallowed, culturally enshrined. Who could even think of suggesting that this monument, this monolith is not perfect? The mere notion could be considered iconoclastic at best, or heretical at worst. And yet, here we are. I did not set out to be
Forbidden and Transgressive Space
They say you can never go back, but that’s not always completely true. Life has come full circle and after decades of moving to so many different places I have now returned to my childhood home. Some things have changed, some have remained the same, and some in between.
Sins of Omission: Suppressed Work History — Part One
My “official” résumé, is, shall we say, a pared down and highly streamlined version of my actual work experience. The last time I counted, I believe I’ve had at least 24 jobs or occupations. Spanning a period of about 50 years, there is a great deal of overlap as
A 400-Year-Old Paper Mill and Sealing Wax
Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal Puff And brought him strings, and sealing wax, and other fancy stuff — "Puff the Magic Dragon" by Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul
Losing Weight: Alice in Wonderland, The Matrix, and The Wicked Witch of the West
"I suppose I ought to eat or drink something or other; but the great question is, 'What?'" — Alice (Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland) Grace Slick of the iconic rock band The Jefferson Airplane in the famous song “White Rabbit” likened the story of Alice in Wonderful