A Death in the Family
"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” – Anatole France
Our beloved dog Luna died early in the morning of July 6th at the age of 17.
She was not our first dog. And we have another dog still living. Nonetheless, Luna was a special one.
Perhaps she was special because she was a little wild, a little undisciplined, fiercely loving (and rather pretty). And perhaps for other reasons that I cannot articulate but somehow feel.
Pet owners will understand the deep level of grief and the immeasurable loss one feels when a companion animal dies. Perhaps those who have never had a companion animal will not feel the same way.
I started to ponder the depth of my grief and decided to write down my thoughts.
First: all those years. Seventeen years of having this sentient being in my life, almost constantly by my side.
Almost 15,000 hours.
I spent less time in school.
I spent less time living with my parents, certainly less time than was spent with my grandparents, and less time in all my jobs.
The only relationships that have consistently endured longer are those with my spouse and my adult children.
Of course, I have friendships that began more than seventeen years ago, but not where the person lived with me every single day and slept by my bed every single night.
I am reminded of a Star Trek episode from 1990 called “Legacy”. In that story, the android Data is answering a question on the nature of friendship:
ISHARA: Are you able to have friends?
DATA: Yes.
ISHARA: But you don't have feelings, do you?
DATA: Not as such. However, even among humans, friendship is sometimes less an emotional response and more a sense of familiarity.
ISHARA: So you can become used to someone?
DATA: Exactly. As I experience certain sensory input patterns, my mental pathways become accustomed to them. The inputs eventually are anticipated, and even missed when absent.
In this context, I am unsure whether it was I who experienced these “sensory input patterns”, whether it was Luna, or both. The explanation of friendship offered by a sentient android seems more poignant and precise than anything I could compose.
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